i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
