You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
