I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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