Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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