The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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