i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
