I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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