ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize