I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
