sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
