Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I wish you could order shots online.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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