My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
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I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
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If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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