Are we in a gay sports bar?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
