Rock
Scissors
Fuck
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
well you can't waste a boner
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
