his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
