Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
