I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
