how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Duck Duck Cougar?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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