just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
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Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
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I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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