He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize