take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
