just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
