im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
