Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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