dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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