You just made me feel so damn special
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
