Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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