Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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