Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
