We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
