just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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