I feel like I'm in dance class right now
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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