i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize