if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
