You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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