the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
