that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
