the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
