Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
