And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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