mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
