Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
