I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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