It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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