so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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