I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
