Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
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we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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