you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
