now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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