I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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