i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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