normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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