If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
