he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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