I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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