Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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