i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
