At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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